Category: Let's talk
I saw a message from someone who identified as having bipolar personality
disorder. They said it was good to know, and helped them deal with things. (I
really hate how insensitive this post is sounding, but I can't think of a way to fix
it, and I'm like half awake. Anyway...)
That post got me thinking. Online, I've seen bipolar and borderline people who
are open about it. I know of at least one person who is bipolar and wrote a
song about it. Offline, I was *very* close to a borderline who was anything but.
She would look at the symptoms of BPD, and say she didn't have it, or she
could see it in herself but she was growing out of it, or something similar when
it was clear she was not. That was a pretty, interesting relationship. Heh. I
didn't know what all the emotional swings were about, and had no idea how to
deal with them. One moment we'd be close, the next, "You never cuddle me
anymore," then back to close, then "I had pills, I almost took them," then close
again, then I'd go somewhere with my family and get 58 calls in the span of
maybe 2 hours (my call log can verify this) wanting to know where I was. Then
I'd get home, and I never spent time with her, I was always with my family...
Then she'd be in a really sexual mood, and we'd be close again. With all that
came a forced distance, which made things even worse. I'd try to get close to
her, and she'd be in one of those moments, so I'd do something else, then we'd
be back to "You never cuddle me anymore." Confusion, sadness and distance
much. And lots of attempts to make her happy, very much to my detriment.
All this makes me curious of other people's accounts, and how they dealt/deal
with the symptoms of these disorders. Do you know someone who has one?
Even better, are you that someone?
But then, how to know? Why are some people open about this, and others can't
stand the thought?
I hope I haven't offended anyone with this post. Some of it seems insensitive
to me. But I'm half-awake, and always tend to see my writing through a very
critical, judgmental lens.
I know some people wil think I'm being a dick for this, but how do you identify as having bipolar disorder? That's a diagnosable condition, my niece has it, some shrink or shrinks diagnosed her with that.
I can't identify as tall, because I'm 5'7".
You can identify with a political party, orr with an interest group. But where there's a dictionary definition or a diagnosis or something, you can't identify as that, can you?
I realize it's the popular uber thing to do right now, but not technically possible. At least not in any meaningful way. Otherwise the definition changes, no? If a bunch of people eating steak identify as vegetarian, that either means they're talking nonsense or the definition of vegetarian is now itself meaningless.
Are we trying to move backwards in linguistic evolution?
But yes I'd guess bipolar is in fact a real thing, but I'm hopelessly poor at psychology and other social sciences.
Anyway though this "identify as" stuff is just plain weird. Just imagine one of your paleolithic ancestors "identifying" as a hunter. Can you throw a spear? no. And I won't even kill an animal, let alone butcher it and prepare its meat. ... Then you're not a hunter! We nbeed hunters to get a winter's supply of meat!
... ... OMG you can't tell me how I identify! I'M MEEEEEE!
... said individual would be summarily expunged from the tribe.
During an economic collapse I think most these identity politics people would either grow up or die. My betting money is on the latter.
There's some kind of manual/handbook type thing, Diagnostic and Statistical Psychiatric something or other, with certain criteria that have to be met.
And that results in a diagnosis, not an identity.
The DSM comes under criticism because much of it is political. If you read symptoms lists for mental health things, they're quite different from the characteristics hard science types are used to seeing in problem identification.
Doesn't make it invalid, but it can't be objective.
You identify with similarities. I don't know how to explain it, but maybe, this will help:
Being someone with mental health problems, issues, challenges, or whatever, well it doesn't make you unable to see these characteristics. Some will refuse to see them, but the more intelligent of us won't deny it.
I admit it, because to become a Certified Peer Counselor, one of the requirements is admitting you know and accept the Diagnosis of Mental Illness, or Behaviorally challenged, or whatever PC is these days, openly to your instructors and class. If my admition helps others, wonderful!
And, another thought I had, is I know that being Bipolar means you're a bit moody. Talking to others with similar problems, kind of helps. It used to be people with psychiatric problems were shut up in a hospital, and pretty much died there. Now, someone who's never gone through that isn't going to "Identify," like you would, if you'd ben there, and got the gown to prove it. Or, the wristlets.
If that helps, I think that's how it got started. BARD has a book called "Shrinks," and tells of some of the most horrific things, done to ehe "Mentally Ill," before cruelty was stopped by people got sick and tired of being abused by "The System."
My first day in class, I had nightmares that night, because I learned what they did to patients that were too noisy. They did a frontal Lobodomy. And, the person who started that procedure, was cruel in my opinion. When you don't don't know you're doing, don't mess with the brain.
Anyway, I think I've rambled too much. I can answer more questions, if you want. I don't know it all, but I'm glad the system is changing.
Blessings,
Sarah
Imp, you're referring to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. It's the book that lists the various disorders that are recognized as mental illness, and their symptoms. Many of them have symptoms in common though, such as bipolar and borderline personality, which makes diagnosis hard sometimes. Leo, you're right, it doesn't rely on the usual hard data most science does. Mental illness is valid, but it's also a much more chancey field than a lot of the other medical illnesses out there.
To the OP, I think some people are open about it because they've accepted it, and learned to manage it. They know it's not something they've done wrong, or chosen for themselves, but that they can choose to manage it and live with it. Some people fight it because they feel like if they accept the diagnosis, they are being labeled, or that there's something incurable wrong with them, or that people will think they're crazy...whch by that point many do as it is. Some advocate getting rid of diagnoses, because they don't like labeling people. My own experience was different. When I was finally given the correct diagnosis of bipolar disorder in 2007, it was actually a relief. Same with learning that, while I dind't have enough of the characteristics to be given the borderline diagnosis, I did have some of its tendencies. I could educate myself on those conditions, direct my therapy toward learning the skills to manage them, and finally get my life back. It wasn't an easy process and it didn't happen overnight, but it did happen. I'm not sure what all other questions you have for people who live with bipolar or BPD, but feel free to PM me.
Thank you, friend Alicia.
Oh I know bipolar is real, plenty have it. I think the last I read, more women than men, and the same went for borderline personality disorder.
Having it and understanding it is one thing. I just hear identify as this or identify as that so much now I just wondered if that was the latest thing from the selfie stick generation or what.
But yeah being realistic and acknowledging the problem for what it is certainly helps.
Leo, maybe it's a language thing, born of political correctness? I think people are saying the same thing, but in the modern, trendy lingo. I personally would never phrase it that I identify as bipolar. That just sounds...weird to me. I live with it, I have it, sometimes I struggle with it, but I don't like the phrase, I identify as. But I think at this point, it's just a matter of semantics.
I think those who share their experiences online are looking to connect with others who have had similar experiences, whereas those who keep it to themselves don't feel confident about discussing it.
One unfortunate thing about the internet, is that more people are using it to diagnose themselves with things they may not have, and some illnesses become trendy for a while.
To me, it seems like identifying with something and being diagnosed with something are two different things. A good example of this are those who are one sex, but say they identify as the opposite sex. Some of them make it happen, but that's an expensive path.
One thing that I get a whole lot of, is not quite fitting in with "Normal Blind people." What I hear is how I'm supposed to advocate, and communicate my needs. But, I try that with other blind people, and get insulted, or my head bitten off. I'm even considering leaving the group I'm with, because I'm tired of feeling like the outsider, and not really welcome. Now, if my mind was all right, I'd be all hugged and loved. But, I don't see trying to fit in where I'm not wanted.
This makes it hard, because, it seems that each time I try reaching out, I get the door slammed in my face.
So, I kind of wish I could hide this stuff wrong with my head, but it's not possible.
Blessings,
Sarah, not normal, and proud I made it this far